Rob’s jokes

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Q: How do you upset Heather Mills?
A: Nick Clegg.
Q: A group of chess enthusiasts were kicked out of a hotel reception for discussing their winning games.

A: The manager can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.


Q: Why do condoms have the bit at the end?

A: So you can take it off with your foot


Q: How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, the other to stand there and say “Yeah! You look big man! You look big!”


Watching the World Cup is a lot like being married. You’re supposed to enjoy it but there’s a constant droning sound in the background…


Isn’t it funny how women change.
I never really noticed it until I set up my webcam in Top Shop.


Q: What turns a nine stone weakling into a seventeen stone man of steel?
A: Polio.


Q: What’s harder than learning to rollerblade?

A: Having to tell your mum and dad that you are gay…


Q: Why wouldn’t Eva Braun give Adolf a blowjob?

A: He always left a Nazi taste in her mouth.


4 Responses to Rob’s jokes

  1. Cannibalastic says:

    Q: How do you upset Nick Clegg?
    A: Tell anyone who asks that you’re going to vote for him, then vote UKIP or Rantzen or something, so he’s forced to take a job with either the least popular government since the Tories, or worse still, the Tories.

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